|
Welcome to my blog... the home of complete ordered chaos.
|
Sun, Apr 15, 2007
April reflections
|
|
Well... I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would today. Sundays for me as of late have been quite reflective and today is no different. Life for me at this time has become what I am calling simply complicated. Complicated cause there are a lot of things I cannot understand. But simple cause I know how to find the answer. Three weeks ago I gave my testimony at church and since then I have been doing a lot of thinking. God will sustain me through everything I am struggling with, but it is up to me to trust him.
But why when everything from the exterior seems to be right in life, but things on the interior are chaos. I think in this God is teaching me to trust him. I can't understand everything... I am not paid to understand. I know things will be different in time... the important thing is to be patient and wait for God's time. He is always perfect in His timing. God give me the patient to wait for your timing and guidance in everything. Help me to trust in you, I know you will sustain me.
|
Thu, Mar 22, 2007
Rip Open the Skies!
|
Yeah... I don't quite understand artist today, but eh. Remedy Drive is giving away their new record, Rip Open the Skies... and lemme tell you, it's awesome. All you have to do is go to their website and fill in your email address and that's it. I have personally heard this album before and my favorite is Statues by a large margin. Okay, maybe not... but every time I think of Remedy Drive this song pops in my head.
|
Sun, Jan 14, 2007
A New Year, another chance at change
|
|
Well, I have really thought a lot this weekend about what 2007 will bring me. I have had some disappointments and tring situations, but things overall last year were good. I look forward this year to really focusing on my relationship with Christ. He is and can only be the one I go to for strength. I know life for me is good and that is what worries me at times. Am I striving for all the best things for me, or am I really doing what He has called me to do? Why do things seem so complicated at times? Why do I struggle with simple things? I truely think it's God's way of telling me that I need to pursue Him more, yet that seems easier said than done.
At BSF, the bible study I have been going to I have been really encouraged by our study of Romans. So I am making a theme verse for 2007: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature..." Romans 8:1-3a
|
Tue, Oct 31, 2006
Romans 4
|
|
Well... I came to an interesting point in my life. Realizations that my life is more complicated than I thought. I have always thought God has put me on a track that always makes sense. But recently, being totally honest with myself, I realized that I am confused. Wrapped up into many things that I don't understand. Unable to do what I really desire and doing what others expect me to do because that is what my life has always been about: pleasing others. When I was a kid, that's all I did was do my best to please my parents and look for their approval.
But God wants something else from me (from all of us). Abraham was called to do things that didn't make all that much sense and yet he did them, and in that he was declared righteous. Listening to God is the only important thing in life. "18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him..." God has promised me things and I don't understand how that will be. I also don't see how these promises will come true for me. God is calling me to have faith, faith like Abram (meaning father of many), then given a new name: Abraham (meaning father of a great multitude) yet at that time Abraham didn't have a child and his wife, Sarah, was way to old to bear a child. I want my new name. I want to believe against all hope that God will deliver me. Help me God.
|
Thu, Oct 05, 2006
FreeDerekWebb.com
|
|
Okay so it's been a while since I last posted... who cares? I don't know if you do. Anywho much to talk about anyway. So I say today on an email I receieved, I saw at the bottom FreeDerekWebb.com and I said to myself (knowing that Derek Webb is a Christian music artist) "Is Derek Webb in jail? How could that happen?" Well he isn't, he is just giving away his new CD, Mockingbird, away for free. That's right free, and this is no slouch CD. It's 11 tracks on iTunes and it's normally $10. 4 stars, 31 reviews all positive so yeah... I am happy about that. Next post, my dream came true a week and a half ago and I am just now going to post about it.
|
Tue, Jul 18, 2006
Dundee Camp 2006
|
I am sooo excited for camp this year. Below is the logo for the "new" Hill. The Hill normally is just 8th and 9th graders, but this year we are adding the 7th grade. I am looking forward to this change as well as many others that are being put into place this year. God has really been speaking to me this week and I hope to really step up for His sake.n
|
Thu, Jan 12, 2006
Thoughts for 2006
|
|
With the movies this season really slowing down a bit. I guess I mean there is not really any good ones out that I want to see, except for King Kong which is 3hrs long. I have decided to type some of my more deeper thoughts. So here we go.
I have been recently thinking a lot about this new year (obviously it just started) and really think this will be a challenging year for me. God is really telling me to focus more and more on relationships with my family, friends, and especially my relationship with Him. That relationship will shape my relationship with others. This is not an easy task so I pray all the time that God would grant me patience in this and give me a desire to know Him better.
In the end, I know that things will turn out for the best. I have really allowed myself to feel bad about some of the decisions I have made, and I know that is not right. I must not allow the devil effect me as much as he has in the past and I am really tring to know the truth and believe it. It is so tough to stay focused on Him all the time. I am constantly reminding myself that I am a child of God. NOTHING will ever change that. God sent his Son to die so that everyone in the world can live a Holy, pleasing, blessed life.
|
Sun, Nov 20, 2005
Dealing with loss
|
|
Well... these last two weeks have been one of many ups and downs... It's hard to say how I feel about all of it just yet but I am blogging about it to get something down for me to reflect upon later.
So my trip to San Jose was one of serious self reflection. I found myself discovering a lot of things that I forgot about myself. First of all, I am truly a man of indecisiveness. All of the time I was down there I could not decide on what to do. Personally, I just wanted to spend time with my best bud Tim and that was all that mattered. But when it came time to go somewhere or do something, I could not decide on anything. The only thing I wanted to do was see the Ocean and take a tour of Silicon Valley (which were both great). While I am on the topic of the ocean, I have one thing to say about that. The ocean and all of it's vastness had a lasting effect on me... I really didn't realize the expierience I had until it was over. I was definately humbled by this expierence though and realized even more how much God is more powerful than man... He created the ocean. No man made thing is more powerful or more beautiful than the ocean.
Now is the time in the post for all of those who don't want to know me too much where you stop reading and go on with your day. Over the trip and the last two weeks I have been realizing and reflecting on the loss that I have. I feel that no one outside my friend Tim and my other good friend in Florida, Marc, know me personally. God knows everything about me, but no other human being outside of Tim and Marc truly know me as a person. I can't have a real conversation with anyone because I feel like everyone I ever knew, in college or at my church, has drifted away from me and could care less. I don't want to believe this, and I know it's probably not true, but not even my roomate or my family understand me fully anymore. I feel lost at times and what has really shown me this is the way I have reacted to recent events, which brings me to my next point.
Recently, my family and I have expierenced loss of a dear cousin who was shot and killed. This, tramatic as it is has been a humbling expierence for me. I have reflected on this event and almost instantly was given peace over this loss. I don't know why this is the case, but much of me thinks that God wants to use me to help my family get through this the best way possible. Anyways, this event was not as emotional as others in recent weeks and that has caused me to question why. Why am I able to deal with a loss of a cousin better than other, maybe less important circumstances? I know God wants me to teach me something, but I am having the hardest time coming up with what.
Lastly, I have lost something in my life. I have lost the sense of community. I pray that God can help me with this problem and I feel like there is no easy answer. I feel defeated before I start. I feel like that this is the one thing I worked so hard to get and now it's gone. God has made it evident that he is in control of this in my life and I am realizing more and more that I need Him first in my life when it comes to community. I believe that I am over anaylitical on where my life is going at times and I need to rely on Him to get me through it all. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. "12 I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength." --Phillippians 4:12-13
|
Thu, Oct 27, 2005
Doing What's Right
|
|
Seeing that many people in the USA have just looked passed the event as just some trival thing. This is my effort at fixing that. Rosa Parks passed away this week and nothing has been said about it. Ray Charles passed away and they had concerts and special 60 minutes episode for him. Heck, Princess Diana, or even Mother Teresa (not even from the US) have gotten more press coverage than Rosa Parks has. Not to say these people didn't deserve recognition, but Rosa stood up for the rights of all Americans not just African-American women, and gets no coverage. Apple has done their part and has a nice article about her life, but that is not enough.
As a Christian I feel that this is almost expected from the United States today. This kind of ignorance towards people who helped change the nation, is expected. Why? Because their sacrifice, like the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, is not understood. No one can quite understand why Rosa did what she did that day, and maybe it was political, like my roomate wants to believe, but it still had to be done. Rosa wasn't paid to do what she did. She didn't recieve an award for doing whats right, she was hand-cuffed, and put in jail. Quoting the wikipedia: "After her arrest, Parks became an icon of the civil rights movement and suffered hardship as a result. She lost her job at the department store and her husband quit his after his boss forbade him from talking about Rosa or the legal case. Mrs Parks traveled and spoke extensively to raise money for her legal fees." Legal battles, job loss, hardships, all because she was doing what was right. It's a shame that society today doesn't realize the signifigance of her acts. They toss her aside as one of the players of the Civil Rights movement, instead of a leader. She paved the way for Martin Luther King, and others yet nothing is said at her time of passing.
Are people afraid to say something about Rosa? Is there any hostility towards her? How is she any different than any one else (famous) who have fought for something they believed in?
Jesus expierenced the same thing at his passing. No one was there to stand up with Him. Mary did all she could, but where were the diciples? Where were the thousands of followers that were inspired because of his words? All of them did nothing when he passed. They went back to living life the old way, taking what Jesus had done for granted and not holding on to His promises and remembering His teachings. John 21:19 says they hid in fear of the Jews, why? Death has been conquered, yet you live in fear of those who fear themselves. Had Jesus not resurrected from the dead and re-appeared to all who knew Him, nothing would have been said. No one would have stood up for Christ. Is this the same for you and I? Can no one stand up for Rosa? Most important, can no one stand up for Jesus?
|
Thu, Aug 25, 2005
The Best of You
|
I recently listened to this new song by the Foo Fighters called Best of You and I have to say it is a reallly inspiring song to me. I have done a little research (on the Internet of course) into what others think about this song and it has spoken to a lot of people, in many different ways. I think this song has a message that applies to my faith that not to many people online have come out and said. Listing to the song it seems like the artist is really showing two sides to his life. Moving on from something that he knows is hurting him or "getting the best of him", and then what he eventually does to "give the best of him"
Here is the opening:
I've got another confession to make I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
In the opening, I am reminded of how many times I have told myself that what I am doing is not right... I feel like I am telling that sin that "I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you" Sin takes hold of everyone and gets the best of us. It abuses us and holds us back from really living... It's killing us.
In the next section continues on this trail and reminds me of all the times I have been tripped up in my faith and how it effects me. How I try to turn away from the bad choices, decisions, habits, etc. And given the choice of life or death I can't choose, but God in me has given me the determination to refuse the life the world has presented me with.
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Now this is the part in the song that is my favorite because I feel like here is where he turns it around and turns back to the Father and he is given hope.
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
The difference in the Chorus is important: "Has someone taken your faith? Its real, the pain you feel. The life, the love. You die to heal. The hope that starts. The broken hearts. You trust, you must, Confess..." All life and love that we had is gone when sin takes hold... then hope starts and change happens. There will be broken hearts because of change (especially your own). God becomes that someone that gets the best of you. God deserves the best of you.
The song ends like this:
I've got another confession my friend I'm no fool,
I'm getting tired of starting again, Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
The last section continues on that same track... I think he is talking to God telling Him that he isn't a fool. The artist is telling God that he wants to not start over agian with some other sin that will take him away from Him. The differences in this verse from the first one are important as well... He calls God his friend. He confesses that he has astrayed and doesn't want to go in another direction again starting over somewhere new. This part reminds me of how many times I have come to Christ and layed it all down and said I want to live for you... I want to not turn to something else, only what you have in store for my life. I want to give you the best of me.
Is someone getting the best of you, or is sin getting the best of you? That is the question I see posed in this song.
|
|
|
|
